Why this mom wants parents to be lazier

A California mom is encouraging fellow parents to be “lazier,” arguing that it’s beneficial for children to develop into independent and self-sufficient adults.
In an Aug. 22 TikTok video, Leah Ova opened up about discussing the topic with a friend, who told her that her child wouldn’t eat breakfast if she didn’t prepare the meal for them.
“You need to be a lazier parent,” Ova began in her TikTok video. “I think everyone’s helping their kids too much.”
“The best form of parenting is high attentiveness but low interference … Be there if they need you but just be like, ‘Honey, I’m literally having a coffee right now. You can get it yourself,'” Ova continued.
Ova, a mom of four in San Francisco, told “Good Morning America” she has noticed that about a third of the parents she knows seem to be doing many or a majority of tasks and chores for their kids.
“We all do so much now, especially with the expectation of after-school activities, and everyone’s kids have to be making perfect grades and you want to be perceived, both in real life and online, as a perfect parent — and oftentimes, it may be to the detriment of your kids,” Ova said.
Ova’s kids range in age and are now 13, 11, 8, and 10 months old. She said in the last four years, since the COVID-19 pandemic, she and her husband have actively tried to give their older kids more space to do things they know they can handle, like take a city bus to school or make pancakes, something her 11-year-old son tackled recently.
“I’m like, what if he catches his sleeve on fire when he has a friend over or just in general [while making pancakes]? But I had to keep myself back because I’m like, he wants to show how this is something he knows how to do, that he can do himself,” Ova recalled.
Ova said if she had made the pancakes for her son and his friend herself, she might have done things differently, however she said she was happy to see her child take charge of his breakfast plans.
“He was super proud that it’s something that he can do, that he can make a breakfast for his friend, which I think is really cool and really sweet,” Ova said.
Since talking to her friend and opening up on TikTok, Ova said she has heard from other parents who agree with her perspective.
“My objective was not to be critical of other parents but it was more like, ‘Hey, give yourself a break, because actually, it’s good for your kids. You don’t have to feel bad about having them do things on their own. It’s actually great for them. It’ll make them better people in the long run.’ So I think people got that, which made me happy,” she said.
Overall, Ova wants fellow parents to realize telling kids to learn how to do things themselves doesn’t make them “a bad parent.”
“It’s just teaching them life skills that they’re interested in, that they’ll be able to use in the future,” said Ova.